I wanted to thank the couple of you who sent me kind words. It really means a lot to have some kind of support. So thank you guys for that. ♥

A few people didn’t understand my reason for leaving. And I don’t know if I really understand it either. But I’ve never been the best with words, I just know how I felt. I was in a really dark place awhile ago. Actually, it wasn’t even that long ago. My last text posts on here that were personal were really… Angry. I was angry at myself and those around me and my family and just at everyone who even breathed at me the wrong way.

But it’s different now. I’ve realized that I need to stop basing my happiness on whether or not my mother is happy with me, whether or not my father is around, whether or not my friends invite me places, etc. I need to base my happiness off of myself. I shouldn’t be upset because a few people don’t like me the way I am, either.

I am who I am and who I am is something I’ve found over these past few weeks. I’m someone who is happy, but can also be sad. I’m someone who has struggled with self-esteem. I’m someone who has harmed myself on purpose, even if no one in my life knew/knows. I’m someone who has been at very low points, but I am someone who survived. And I’m going to keep on living because I deserve to be here, even if sometimes I don’t feel that way.

Yes, I still get sad sometimes. I’m still counting down the days until I can move far, far away from my mother. I wish I were free and I’m still afraid to be me sometimes. But that’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay sometimes…

I was really hesitant on posting my new blog on here. I didn’t want the people that saw my low points to know who I was, or what I’m about. But I’ve decided that I need to stop being so stupid and put myself out there so I can encourage others that it is possible to survive the darkness. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

My name is Katie and I’m weird and wild and crazy and I like to have fun and I hate to be alone. I want you guys to get to know me as me… Not as the person I thought I was, or the person I pretended to be. I want you to see pictures of me, and videos of me and my new friends. (Did I mention I have friends now? Not “friends” that don’t give a shit, but real friends. Ones I can trust. It’s lovely.)

My new blog is http://invainsanity.tumblr.com/ if anyone cares to peek into my new way of thinking.

Thanks again for the kinds words and I’m super sorry if this post is rubbish. I’m not good with words. :)

Stay strong.♥

I’m not going to bullshit around, I’m just going to be straight up. I’m leaving Tumblr because shit is getting to me. I’ve decided it’s not okay for me to be like this and I need to be away from people that are saying it is.

“It’s okay to feel that way!”

“It’s okay, it gets better!”

“It’s okay to be sad, you totally have every reason to!”

No. It’s not okay. It’s not okay to push everyone away, not make any friends, be afraid to live, never sleep, barely eat, etc. It’s not okay to be the way I am.

This is all we’ve got. Once we die, that’s it. There’s nothing after this. Heaven, Hell, all that is bullshit. And I am fucking tired of bullshit. If there is a God, well, he’s just not worth believing in.

For those of you that I talk to or have talked to at least once, and those of you that want to pursue a friendship with a bitter teenage cynic, leave me a message if you want my number or email. Don’t be shy. If I talk to you I obviously like you because I don’t talk to many people these days. If we’ve never talked before, don’t be discouraged. I’m actually quite friendly.

This is goodbye. This is a promise that I’m going to change. I’ve stopped expecting the world to get better, and I’ve realized I need to get better. So here I go. I’m going to live my fucking life and I’m going to make it a damn good one because this is it.